


just go with it

by emmasdfghjkl



Category: iCarly
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-12
Updated: 2011-10-17
Packaged: 2015-06-26 20:27:22
Rating: T
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,297
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7458614/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2808169/emmasdfghjkl
Summary: Sometimes all you need to do in order to save a relationship is create a fake family and take them all to Hawaii with your new boyfriend in tow. Or, is that just for Sam Puckett?





	1. one

**.one.**

"I had an awesome time last night," Kyle said, leaning over to gently kiss Sam. Sam smiled into the kiss, the duvet falling aside as she sat up.

"Me too," Sam murmured in agreement. It was true. Last night, with Kyle, it had been the best night in a long time. It felt a lot more real than any of her other countless one night stands.

You see, a long time ago, Sam Puckett discovered the power of the ring. She had been engaged to another high flying lawyer she had met in college, and they were going to get married at barely twenty three.

Of course, then she found out he had been cheating on her, and she walked out on their wedding. Sam, she couldn't quite bear to get rid of the rings, wearing them to the bar she stumbled across as she left the church.

Thats when she discovered the power. Fobbing some poor, gullible boy off with a tall tale of her horrific marriage pretty much guaranteed her getting laid, and she could leave the next morning without hesitation.

It was a perfect system, because it ensured she would never get her heart broken again. Sam had been playing this game for over ten years now, and she had no intentions of stopping.

"I think we should do this again sometime." Kyle suggested with a smile.

"Well, give me your number, and I'll call you." Sam grinned. "It's in my cardigan."

Kyle reached over, and picked up the light grey cardigan Sam had discarded on the floor the previous night. As he picked it up, her phone, and keys fell out of the shallow pockets.

"Oh, crap." he said, scrambling to pick the stuff up. "I'm so-"

Sam raised an eyebrow as he stopped mid sentence. "What's wrong?"

"What are these?" Kyle turned around, holding up the engagement ring and wedding band she had stashed in her pocket.

"Uh." Sam began, her heart racing. "They're circles?"

"You're married!" Kyle accused. "I don't believe this. I'm not the kind of dude who goes around stealing other dudes chicks."

Sam gaped at him for a second before she managed to make sense of his statement. "Its not mine!" She defended.

"Then who's is it?"

"I don't know," Sam shrugged. "Someone must have uh, slipped it in my pocket at the party?" She tried.

"I'm not stupid." Kyle said, and tossed the ring aside. "I think you should leave."

"Fine," Sam said finally, grabbing her cardigan and shrugging it on over her shoulders. She jammed her feet into her heels, and picked her handbag up from where she had thrown it aside the previous night. "I'll go."

"Don't bother calling me." Kyle said, gesturing toward the door.

"You're such a girl." Sam muttered as she marched out the door, viciously slamming it behind her. It felt a lot more real than any of her other relationships had, and she had screwed it up within a matter of hours.

That had to be a new personal record.

Sighing, Sam pulled out her cell phone, checking the time. It was barely eight am, meaning Carly would still be fast asleep, not having to get up for at least another hour for work. She really needed to talk to someone right now, and scanning through her contacts, Sam's eyes finally settled on Freddie.

He was a nub, he could basically double for a girl.

"Yo, Fredward." Sam said into her handset. "You free this morning?"

"_Yeah, why?"_

"Good. Meet me at the coffee shop by my law firm in a half an hour."

"_Wait, Sam, I have to-"_

Sam didn't bother listening to him, choosing instead to hang up, and stuff her phone back into her bag. Sticking out a hand, Sam hailed down a cab, not in the mood to walk the twenty minutes it would take to get to the coffee place in her ridiculously high heels.

They were a good idea the night before, not so much the morning after.

Actually, a lot of things seem like a good idea the night before, but that belief never really follows through to the next morning.

The cab pulled up outside the coffee house after a few minutes, and Sam paid the driver before tottering inside, and ordering the biggest coffee she could find on the menu. She needed the perk caffeine would provide her.

Choosing a table by the window, Sam sat down, and kicked her uncomfortable shoes off, and settled down to wait for Freddie. The nub better not take too long, Sam thought. She was not in the mood to be left alone with her thoughts right now.

"Whats up Sam?" Freddie asked, and Sam looked up to see her friend slide into the chair across from her, his two kids in tow.

"What up with the munckins?" Sam inquired. She wasn't much of a fan of kids, and even Freddie's son and daughter didn't make the cut of people under eighteen she could tolerate.

"Go get a cake or something," Freddie said, opening his wallet. "Just no coffee Rebecca, not after the last time."

Rebecca, his eldest nodded, and took her little brother Oscar by the arm, pulling him toward the counter.

"Their mom didn't show, again." Freddie sighed. Freddie, he had gotten married pretty young, a few weeks after he graduated from college. He and Sarah, his ex, had two kids before Freddie finally came to his senses and divorced her.

Sam nodded, unsure of what else to say. She had made her feelings about Sarah well known long ago.

"So, what's wrong with you? You're usually not awake this early unless you have to work, and you're off this week, right?"

"Just until Wednesday," Sam corrected. "And I've screwed up."

"What did you do this time?" Freddie sighed.

"I met this guy, and I really like him," Sam began.

"And let me guess, he found the wedding rings?" Freddie finished for her.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Now he thinks that I'm a cheating whore, and I really like this guy Freddie. I think it could be something real."

"Really?" Freddie raised an eyebrow.

"Really! What's so surprising?"

"You've spent the past twelve years avoiding serious relationships, whats made you change your mind?"

"When you know, you know I guess." Sam shrugged. "Now, think, what am I supposed to do?"

"Tell him the truth?" Freddie suggested, as if it was obvious.

Sam snorted. "Yeah, right. Can you imagine how he would react to that?"

"I can only go on how I'd react, and I think it would be something along the lines of 'you're a crazy bitch.'" Freddie said thoughtfully.

"We're not talking about your ex wife here Benson."

"Ouch. That one hurt."

"Baby," Sam stuck out her tongue. "Seriously, what am I supposed to do?"

Before Freddie could reply, Rebecca and Oscar returned.

"I need to take a George." Oscar said, putting his gingerbread man on the table.

"Can you go with him?" Freddie asked his daughter. "Otherwise he'll spent the rest of the day in there."

Rebecca nodded, and the two Benson kids scurried away from the table again.

"Take a George?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I went to college with this guy called George, and he was complete shit head.." Freddie mumbled. "And you can guess the rest."

"You named your kids poop after a guy you went to college with?" Sam laughed. "Dude, that's pretty awesome."

"Yeah, yeah." Freddie said. "Why don't you just tell him that you're getting divorced?"

"That is.." Sam was about to finish her sentence with 'too obvious', but then realised too obvious was what she needed. So many years of creating fictional failing marriages had hard-wired her to be more creative than necessary.

"That's perfect!" Sam said. "Thanks Fredward. I owe you,"

"You owe me a lot," Freddie grinned. "But I'm pretty sure you'll never repay any of it."

"You got that right," Sam said, ruffling his already messy hair. "Alright, I have a relationship to go save."

/

Sam wandered into the sports hall where Kyle worked as coach of a kids soccer team. He was standing at the edge of the field, shouting orders at the hoard of nine and ten year olds.

"Kyle!" She called.

He turned around, and threw his eyes skywards as he realised who it was. "I thought I made myself clear Sam, I don't want to see you again."

"Just give me a second," Sam began.

"No. I am not going to be the other man, I saw what that did to my dad, and I'm not going to put some other guy through the same thing." Kyle interrupted, his expression hard.

"Adulterer! Fornicator!" One of the kids yelled, pointing at Sam.

"Take it easy Damien." Sam said, whirling around to face the kid.

"His names Silas," Kyle sighed, grabbing Sam's arm and pulling her toward his office. "And leave him out of it."

"I'll kill you!" Silas/Damien called after them as Kyle pulled Sam towards the door.

"Any time buddy, any time!" Sam yelled back, putting her best death glare on.

"Why are you here Sam?"

"To explain." Sam said, calming down a little. "Look, I am married. But it's a horrible marriage, we don't even speak to each other any more."

"If it's so bad, why don't you just get a divorce?"

"I am." Sam said quietly.

"You are?" Kyle said, his jaw dropping. "I can't believe this. I destroyed a marriage. What's my mom going to say?"

Sam tried to ignore the fact Kyle would tell his mom about his relationships in such great detail, and instead decided to reassure him otherwise. "No, no it wasn't because of you! I filed for divorce a long time ago, we're going to sign the papers in a couple of days, and I'll be a free woman. It's like he'll be dead to me."

"What's his name?" Kyle asked, seeming sceptical.

"His name?"

"His name." Kyle confirmed.

"Uh. George," Sam said.

"George what?"

"George Benson." Sam nodded. "Yup, that's him. That's my husband. Isn't that a shitty name? Anyway, George and I are splitting up, fortunately. I caught him cheating on me, with another woman."

"There's another woman?" Kyle inquired.

"Mmhm." Sam nodded. "Uh, Kiki."

"People always say they'll leave their husbands and wifes." Kyle pointed out.

"I'm telling you, he's happy with this.. Kiki woman, and now it's my turn. I want to be happy." Sam argued. "And the only way I can be happy is with you. I want to be with you and not be called a fornicator, or whatever that child of the corn in the hall was calling me."

"Okay." Kyle nodded. "I just need to hear it from him."

"Can he text you?" Sam asked. "Would that be good?"

"I need to meet him." Kyle said simply.

"Lets do it." Sam nodded, faking a grin. What had she just gotten herself into?

/

**Author's Note: **My mam and I are huge fans of the movie 'Just Go With It' and this idea was born during one of our many rewatches while I'm visiting her. So, I'll rather cheesily dedicate this to my wonderful mother who's always more than happy to help me with this fic, and everything else really.

It's my first mulitchapter fic, so feedback is much appreciated!


	2. two

**two.**

"You want me to pretend to be your ex husband?" Freddie raised an eyebrow. "Your ex-husband named George? Couldn't you have thought of a better name?"

"Hey," Sam said defensively. "I practically took a George in my pants when he asked me. I panicked!"

"You, the woman who creates a new husband every weekend, panicked?" Freddie snorted.

"Doesn't that show what I feel for this guy?" Sam stopped suddenly.

"But why do you have to get me involved?" Freddie almost whined.

"Because you're my best friend and you're supposed to help me out with things like this?" Sam offered.

"Best friends pretend to be their best friends fake husbands?"

"If needs be!"

"Alright." Freddie sighed. "I'll do it."

"Good boy." Sam ruffled his hair, causing Freddie to grumble slightly. "Now, we need to go shopping."

"For what?"

"Clothes, for you." Sam said, as if it was obvious.

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Freddie looked down at his sweater, shirt and jeans combo, pushing his glasses up his nose a little. So many years of working with computers had put a strain on his eyes, and caused him to need glasses.

"You've got the nerdy dad look down to a T."

"That's because I am a nerdy dad." Freddie looked at the blonde girl.

"That's beside the point." Sam replied. "I want to create the impression I had a hot first husband, not the defintion of nerdiness himself. You need to look sexy."

"Sexy?" Freddie raised an eyebrow.

"Puckett's are sexy, therefore we have sexy husbands." Sam explained, eyeing up the stores lining the streets.

"Puckett's are sexy?"

"Are you going to question everything I say, or are you going to get your nerdy ass inside this store so I can make you look normal?"

"Do I even get a choice?" Freddie said as he approached the door of the outrageously expensive store, one he had never set foot in before because of the fact he would have to re-mortgage his apartment to afford anything there.

"Nope!" Sam said brightly, flicking the side of his head as they entered the store.

Freddie seemed to gravitate towards the sunglasses automatically, wandering towards the back of the shop.

"Sunglasses Benson, really?"

"Hey, you said I have to be sexy. Sunglasses automatically make me sexy," Freddie said, taking his black reading glasses off, and hanging them off the front of his shirt. He picked up a pair of aviators, slipping them on.

"What do you think?"

"You look like an idiot." Sam said, folding her arms across her chest.

"A sexy idiot?" Freddie teased.

"Totally." Sam rolled her eyes, and turned to the hovering assistant. "How much are they?"

"Eleven hundred dollars." He said, stepping a little closer to them.

"Eleven hundred dollars? Damien, you have to be kidding me."

"I'm Alex," The assistant began quietly.

"No," Sam turned Freddie, shaking her head. "No way. Put them back Benson."

"They're a really good investment-" Alex began.

"No, it's fine." Freddie interrupted. "It's fine. I'm starting to feel a little cold, is the air con on? I might be getting sick. I don't know if I'll be able to make tonight,"

Sam looked at him. "You evil bastard."

Freddie gave a fake cough. "I'm definitely coming down with something."

"Fine," Sam gave in. "We'll take them."

"Awesome." Freddie grinned.

"This is exactly why we're getting divorced," Sam said sharply.

"Why would that be, darling?" Freddie cocked his head sideways.

"Because you're greedy, selfish, and manipulative." Sam replied.

"You know," Alex piped up. "They come in another version, with green lenses instead of the blue."

"Nobody asked you Damien!" Sam snapped.

"Oh, we'll take those too." Freddie said at the same time.

"And there's a case that you can buy," Alex continued, glaring at Sam. "It's incredibly strong, you could drive over it. You need that kind of case with sunglasses as good as these,"

"What do you think, honey?" Freddie shot a grin at Sam.

"I think that I'm going to ram those sunglasses down your throat if we don't move onto clothes, and soon." Sam replied sweetly before turning on her heel, and heading to the cash register to pay for the sunglasses.

"Thanks darling!" Freddie called after her, Sam not bothering to turn around as she gave him the finger.

"I bet you're glad you're getting a divorce." Alex commented.

"Oh, she's a sweetheart, really." Freddie said. "You just have to look past the viciousness."

"I'm not sure I could."

"You get used to it."

"Let's go Benson." Sam said, passing him the bag of sunglasses, and pulling on his arm, dragging him to the clothing section of the store.

"I still don't see what's wrong with my clothes."

"I just spent almost three thousand dollars on sunglasses for you," Sam said. "Shut up and try on clothes."

It was going to be a long afternoon.

/

Sam glanced at the door for the millionth time in the past few minutes, anxiously waiting for Freddie to arrive. She had warned him, threatened him even, to be on time, and he was already ten minutes late.

"Sam," Kyle's voice brought her back to reality and pushed her thoughts of killing Freddie in a slow and painful manner to the back of her mind. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "It's just, he gets me a little tense, you know?"

"I'm sorry to put you through this."

"It's okay," Sam gave him a reassuring smile. "I understand why you want to. I just can't wait until that part of my life is over, and I can just be happy with you."

Kyle smiled at her, taking her hands in his. "I can't wait either."

Sam glanced towards the doors again, and this time, kept her gaze there as someone entered the building. That someone being an almost unrecognisable Freddie Benson.

He was dressed in a pristine grey suit, and a crisp white shirt. Sam had long forgotten that the boy could pull off suits, she hadn't seen him wear one since his wedding day, over ten years ago. The ridiculously priced sunglasses were perched on his nose, and his hair was no longer long messy and overgrown, it was immaculate.

"Is that him?" Kyle sounded intimidated.

"I think so." it took everything Sam had to keep her jaw from dropping.

"Anderson," Freddie said to the greeter. "Do you see my wife anywhere in this room? Oh, there she is."

He started to walk, leaving the confused greeter standing at the top of the stairs.

"Hello, darling." Freddie greeted enthusiastically, reaching the table where Sam and Kyle sat within a matter of seconds.

"George," Sam stood up, reluctantly kissing Freddie on the cheek.

"And you must be Kyle." Freddie turned to Sam's boyfriend, looking him up and down.

"Yeah, that's me." Kyle stood up with a scrape of his chair, offering Freddie a hand to shake.

"Hmm." Freddie said, and walked around to the other side of the table, ignoring his hand.

"What are you doing?" Sam hissed.

"Being the arroganrt soon to be ex husband." Freddie returned, and slipped his sunglasses off, calling for a waiter.

"What can I get you sir?" She asked, her voice timid.

"I don't suppose you're on the menu?" Freddie asked with a cocky grin. "I'm kidding honey. Unless you're into that kind of thing? Still kidding sweetheart. I'll have a whiskey. Sam?"

"I'll stick with water."

"Oh, honey." Freddie said, putting his hand on hers. "I'm so proud of you, you're finally coming off the alcohol."

Turning to Kyle, Freddie spoke again. "She's quite the drinker, Sam here. Used to spend most of her mornings bent over the toliet puking her guts up."

Kyle looked taken aback. "I, uh."

"Yup, quite the partier Sam is." Freddie confirmed. "I'm glad to see you're giving that lifestyle up. You might actually remember more than a quarter of your days now,"

"Thanks darling." Sam said through gritted teeth, moving her leg to kick him under the table.

"Did you kick me?" Kyle yelped.

"No," Sam shook her head. "That wasn't me."

"It was me," Freddie jumped in. "Leg spasms, can't stop them."

"He used to kick the shit of out everything when we lived together." Sam agreed.

"It's a side effect of the pills." Freddie said in a hushed tone. "It's all she used to make for dinner you know. I'd come home from work, and there'd be handful's of pills on the plates, wasn't there honey?"

"I had to find someway to entertain myself," Sam said sweetly. "While you were out banging your secretary."

"At least she wanted to have sex," Freddie said, and turned to Kyle. "My darling Samantha here,"

"Sam." Sam interrupted with a glare.

"Sammy, she suffers from FSD." Freddie continued, ignoring Sam.

"FSD?" Kyle looked confused.

"Oh, I forgot. You're fifteen," Freddie said in a condescending tone. "FSD, it's female sexual dysfunction. Basically, it means she's never in the mood for sex."

"At least it's not irritable bowel syndrome." Sam joined in. "This guy spent most of our married life on the toilet."

"It's better than hanging over it, vomiting." Freddie retorted.

"I had to develop a drinking problem to deal with how boring you are." Sam said, turning to Kyle. "All he ever does he talk about computers, computers, computers. Guy never lives in the real world."

"Neither do you honey, not without everything being tinged with vodka."

The waitress finally returned with Freddie's drink, and no sooner had she set it down on the table, Sam grabbed it, and downed the glass in one go.

"That's the thirteenth step right there," Freddie said to Kyle. "Back on the drink."

/

"Anderson, you brought the car around." Freddie said happily as they left the restaurant.

"Why do you keep calling me Anderson?" The greeter asked.

"Just go with it." Freddie said out of the corner of his mouth. "Kyle, so good to meet you."

"I'm really glad you're okay with me and Sam George," Kyle said ernestly.

"Oh, why wouldn't I be?" Freddie said. "Even though me and Sam didn't work out,"

"Really didn't work out." Sam interrupted.

"Its like it never happened." Freddie confirmed, putting an arm around Sam. "I just want my Sammy to me happy, and if it means that's being with you, well I'm really glad. Just look at you two, it's like looking at Ken, and Barbie's grandmother."

Sam, who had slipped her arm around Freddie's waist, pinching him as she did so. "Thanks honey."

"Always a pleasure." Freddie said, biting back a curse. Sam pinched really hard.

"Goodnight kiddo." Sam said, wanting Freddie to leave. Like, right now.

"Alright," Freddie said, and suddenly his phone rang. "Two minutes. Hello?"

Freddie's face darkened as whoever was on the other end of the line spoke. "Are you kidding me? Where was Rose when this happened?"

Another pause.

"Skyping her boyfriend? Again?" Freddie shook his head in exasperation. "Can you put your brother on the line?"

"Hey, hey." Sam started to panic. "Take that in the car."

Freddie waved her off, mouthing two seconds at her and Kyle. "Buddy, what were you thinking, dropping one of your hearing aids on the floor? Of course it was going to get broken. You what? Look, I'll deal with this when I get home. You and your sister go to bed."

Sam was about ready to kill Freddie as he continued to talk to his kids- very loudly, and very obviously.

"No arguments. I mean it," Freddie said. "I'll see you two in a while,"

He hung up, and turned back to Sam and Kyle. "I cannot believe-" He stopped as he noticed Sam's death glare.

"You two have kids?" Kyle broke the tense silence.

"Mmhm." Freddie realised his mistake.

"We sort of have kids." Sam nodded.

"When were you planning on telling me about these children Sam?" Kyle inquired.

"I don't know," Freddie said brightly. "But I'm going to go now. Great to meet you Kyle,"

"No, no don't go," Sam started to protest, but Freddie was in his car and driving away before she even got to the end of her sentence. Turning slowly back to Kyle, she nervously spoke.

"Are you freaked out about all this?" She inquired.

"Actually, the opposite." Kyle gave a goofy grin. "I love kids, I just never had you as a kids person."

"Oh, I'm a big kids person." Sam nodded. "I love me some kids."

She winced as the words left her mouth, realising quickly how odd that last part sounded.

"What are their names?"

"Hmm?"

"Their names," Kyle repeated. "What are your kids names?"

"Um, Roxy." Sam nodded. "Then there's the boy, who of course is.. Merlin."

"I want to meet them!" Kyle looked so excited.

"Yeah," Sam agreed weakly. "Why not?"

/

**Author's Note; **The hearing aid incident is based off something my little brother did a few months ago, no idea how he managed it, but he stood on one of his hearing aids and crushed it into a million pieces. My dad was really happy about that :P

Anyway, thanks to my two lovely reviewers kioshi and claunat, and the people who alerted this fic etc., I didn't think anyone would read this, so it's pretty cool to see people actually are.

I'm off to enjoy the remaining two hours of my birthday, but I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter.


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